How To Start Asking Better Questions

Who? What? When? Where? Why? How? (The Five W's and One H): the rubric of all information gathering. These are the essential questions we must ask.

The cornerstones of curiosity, journalism, research, and three-year-olds' vocabularies world-wide. These simple words can help uncover any information you would like to know about any subject. Philosophers base their teachings on these questions. They knew that the best way to gain insight and information was to ask good questions.

If you are having difficulties stepping out of your comfort zone and asking questions, read our article How To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone Comfortably for guidance and tips.

Ponder This…

Why did Benjamin Franklin fly a kite during a thunderstorm? What caused the Great Depression? Who invented bitcoin? How are we getting to Mars? Without asking questions we would not be able to further our knowledge and understanding, discover new things, strengthen relationships, grow businesses, or develop our skills. All good ideas begin with a question. All questions need answers.

We talk about overcoming your fear of asking questions in another article: Never Be Afraid To Ask Questions

Curiosity Is Endless 

When we ask questions, we are sparking our curiosity. Our desire to dig deeper is fueled by learning the unknown and uncovering more about the things we find interesting. Some of us dive into the deep end, surrounding ourselves with a new subject and soaking it up like a sponge, while others prefer the more cautious approach of taking small steps and learning at their own pace. All of us learn differently, so do not feel ashamed if you are more cautious in your learning approach. We all learn differently, so if one method doesn't work, try another.

By asking good questions, we can exchange ideas, create solutions to problems, inspire and motivate others, and built rapport. Remember that too many questions can sound like an interrogation, but too few will make you sound bored or uninterested. The goal is to exchange ideas and knowledge, not to fill awkward dead space or kill time. 

Body Language Matters 

Be mindful of others and pay attention to their body language. Are they turning away from you or avoiding eye contact when answering? They could be uncomfortable answering those questions. Do not use intrusive questions that could cause people to feel bad about themselves. Instead ask open-ended questions (questions that have more than a "yes" or "no" answer) that can help you steer the conversation towards new topics and ideas. By asking open ended questions and being aware of others' body language and tone we can build a vital skill called emotional intelligence. How do we sharpen that skill? By asking good questions. It is a cycle that strengthens itself the more you use it. 

Start Broad Then Narrow It Down 

A great way to learn about something is to ask a broad question on the subject and then narrow down the questions to a specific detail or group of details. By implementing open-ended questions, you can move around the subject without losing interest or derailing the conversation. Use your previous knowledge of the subject to inject your knowledge. The person you are speaking with may not know what you know. A story can help create a bond between you, the person you are speaking with, and the subject you are discussing.

Ask only one question at a time so the other person does not feel overwhelmed or start jumping around topics or answers. By focusing on just one thing at a time, both you and the person you are speaking with will be able to share information more effectively.

"Ask questions the other person will enjoy answering" – Dale Carnegie

 

Hey, Listen! 

When listening to an answer, avoid thinking about structuring your next question or answer. Instead, focus on what the other person is saying. Listen to their ideas and views before opening your mouth. Do not cut off someone else while they are talking, even if you think the next thing to come out of your mouth is better than what they're about to say. 

Ask Yourself… 

Never be afraid to question yourself from time to time. Sometimes we stray from the path leading to our goals. It happens to all of us. Give yourself permission to admit that you're off track. Ask yourself:

• What is most important in life right now?
• What is my next milestone?
• What do I need to complete today? How will I get there?
• Are there things I need to work out before taking the next step?

Asking yourself deep questions can help you boost your confidence, visualize your path, and focus on what you desire most. You channel your focus onto what will help you in the now or what steps you can take now to help you achieve your long-term goals.

If one of your goals is to be a gentleman, read our article Is A Gentleman Perfect? The Bottom Line

Summary:

Never be afraid to ask questions. By doing so you are limiting your knowledge of the world. Be open to hearing new ideas, different views, and listening attentively to what someone has to say. Sometimes seeing something from a different perspective can help you form better opinions and help understand things in a new light.

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