6 Guaranteed Conversations Starters For First Dates

First dates are all about compatibility. You want to learn what makes your date tick: their likes and dislikes, ambitions, goals, and if there is a spark between you two. The easiest way to find this out is to talk with them.

But what should you talk about on a first date? In this article we will cover six topics that you can bring up during your first date that will help you learn as much as you can about your date without resorting to asking "So… Do you like stuff?" and them replying "Yeah, stuff is good."

Before we dive in to these topics, we want to give you some important first date tips to remember:

Important First Date Tips: 

• Be on time. We recommend arriving at least 10 minutes early to your date.

• Keep conversations light. Avoid polarizing topics like finances and politics. Our article First Date Mistakes: 5 Conversation Topics To Steer Clear From covers more subjects you should avoid talking about on a first date.

• Ask open-ended questions. These questions involve more than 1- to 2-word answers. For tips on how to ask better questions read our article 3 Simple Steps For Effective Small Talk.

• Practice active listening. Wait a couple of seconds after your date has stopped talking before you answer. For tips on how to understand a conversation and answer effectively, read our article on how to be a supercommunicator.

• Don't ask too many questions in a row. Remember, it's a date, not an interrogation.

• Put the phone away. The focus is on your date, not your screen. Keep it off, or at the very least on vibrate and away from view. Nobody likes a phubber.

• Be realistic. It may not work out. There are plenty more fish in the sea.

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Best Topics To Discuss On A First Date: 

Below we have listed six topics that are generally safe to talk about on a first date. We even added a few example questions for each.

Hobbies And Interests

One of the easiest ways to get to know your date is to ask them about their hobbies and interests. Everyone has at least one activity they enjoy doing in their spare time. Watch for your date's eyes to light up when the conversation shifts to something they are passionate about.

Discussing hobbies and interests can be a great way to bond, especially if you and your date share similar interests. If you don't, then this is an opportunity to learn about something new. Be open and curious about what they enjoy.

Ask engaging questions like how they got into it, what they enjoy most, and what tips they would give someone just getting into the hobby. This can be a way to plant the seed for a second date where you do something they're interested in.

Questions to ask your date about their hobbies and interests:

"What is one activity you always look forward to doing?"

"Is there something you've always wanted to try but haven't yet?"

"What is some advice you would give to someone who is just getting into the hobby?"

Travel

Talking about travel plans (both past and future) is a great way to learn how adventurous your date is. Are they a globetrotter? Homebody? Do they plan every detail of their trips or just pick a direction and go?

Some people travel to experience new cultures and foods. Others travel to visit famous landmarks and historical sites. Some want to go somewhere warm and tropical while others enjoy roughing it out in the mountains. What does your date like?

Questions to ask your date about travel:

"If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?"

"What is the biggest factor when deciding where to go?"

"What was your best vacation?"

Career Goals And Ambitions

Bringing up work on a first date may sound like a one-way ticket to Boringville, but you can discover a lot about someone by learning what they do for a living. Are they currently in post-secondary? Are they working a temporary job until something else opens up? Are they in their dream job?

Conversations about their career can go in many different directions. You can ask them what they like most about their job, what made them get in to that field, what irks them the most, if it's as glamorous as people say it is (this is a great question for your date if they work in the entertainment industry), and so on.

If your date reveals that they do not like their job, then the conversation can shift to ambitions. Asking them what their dream job is or what they'd like to do provides an easy avenue of discussion. They may open up about how they have always wanted to try sculpting or publish a book or go back to school and get a degree in something else.

Questions to ask your date about their career:

"What made you decide on your career?"

"What is your favourite (or least favourite) part of your job?"

"If you won the lottery, would you still work?"

Pop Culture And Current Events

When we say pop culture and current events, we are talking about entertainment; favourite movies, music, books, and games are just some examples. Discussing the latest blockbuster or album drop with your date is a sure-fire way to learn what your date likes and dislikes.

Maybe your date loves cheesy horror movies or car karaoke but only 90s pop-punk songs about being a pretty fly white guy. Or maybe they are a retro gamer who collects vintage Atari games and consoles.

Diving in to niche interests that your date enjoys can help them open up, especially if it is a topic they don't usually talk about with their friends. They may appreciate sharing these quirky interests with you knowing they won't be judged.

Questions to ask your date about pop culture and current events:

"Do you have a celebrity crush?"

"What was the best concert you've attended?"

"Have you ever seen a movie so bad you walked out of the theatre?"

Family And Friends

Asking about your date's family and friends is a great way to learn about their background and upbringing. How big is their family? Do they have any brothers or sisters? What are their family members like?

Talking about family can be tricky. They may not want to share details about them on a first date or reveal any drama that may be brewing. Do not pry or insist on talking about family if your date refuses or does not seem interested. Change the subject to something more enjoyable.

Listen to how they speak of their friends. How do they talk about them? Positively? Negatively? Do they judge or gossip or speak highly of them? If your date constantly speaks poorly of their friends, they will likely do the same to you when you are not around. Take that into consideration when talking about others.

Questions to ask your date about their family and friends:

"Do you still talk to your best friend from elementary school?"

"What was your favourite family vacation?"

"Who would you say is the odd-ball in your family?"

Childhood And Past

Asking questions about someone's childhood can reveal a lot about the kind of person they are. Were they a goofball and class clown? Did they play any sports or take music lessons? Were they a straight-A student?

Opening up about your childhood first can help build trust and break the ice. Don't be afraid to share something about your past that you think your date may find amusing. A bit of self-deprecating humour or laughing at something embarrassing you did when you were a kid shows them that you aren't always serious.

Questions to ask your date about their childhood and past:

"What was your favourite subject in school?"

"Did you have a favourite teacher?"

"What was your favourite Halloween costume?"

Be aware that some people may not feel comfortable talking about their childhood. They may have experienced trauma, or may be embarrassed about who they were when they were younger.

Do not force them to talk about it if they do not want to. Change the subject and leave it be.

Summary

Having some engaging topics in your back pocket can prevent awkward silence on your first date. While a small amount of silence is a good thing, too much may have your date wondering what they did wrong or if you are still interested in them or not.

Keep conversations open, topics engaging, and laughs plenty if you want to increase your chances of a second date.

For more first date tips, consider reading:

• 15 Cheap First Date Ideas

• Does A Gentleman Kiss On The First Date?

• How Soon Should You Follow Up After A First Date?

• Who Pays On A First Date?

• Why Movies Are A Terrible First Date Idea. What To Do Instead

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