How Does A Gentleman Act In The Modern World?

The term 'gentleman' has evolved from what most people imagine when they hear the term. While the picture of the well-dressed man with the perfect chiseled jaw and smooth as silk voice may be the most popular image of a gentleman, it's what's on the inside that counts. A man cannot be a gentleman unless he acts like one. Dressing well is important, but a jerk in a suit is not a gentleman—he's just a dapper jerk.

How does a gentleman act? There isn't a formal school where men walk in one end with a t-shirt, baggy jeans, and backwards baseball hat and walk out the other in full white-tie attire, with a top hat and a degree in gentlemanliness. He needs to develop and improve certain skills throughout his life if he wishes to be a gentleman.

Understands The Power Of Manners And Etiquette 

First and foremost, a gentleman is well-mannered and polite, not just to the lady that catches his eye, but to everyone. Whether it's offering your seat to an elderly person on public transit, assisting someone carrying something heavy, or helping someone up if they fall, a gentleman is always of assistance. If a gentleman holds the door open for someone and they get annoyed, he can simply say "I do this for everyone". A gentleman never expects any payment or reward for being courteous to others. He does it out of the goodness of his heart.

Knows The Value Of His Words 

A gentleman knows that his words are valuable. What he says and how he says it can change how people view him. He's aware of the words he chooses and is conscious of negative, derogatory, and profane words and phrases. He does his best to be thoughtful and inclusive when speaking to people. Rather than putting people down, he builds them up.

Knows How To Listen Properly 

A gentleman is also a great listener. He gives his full attention to the person speaking and avoids looking at his phone unless it's an emergency. He doesn't interrupt, try to one-up the other person, or put them down. He's interested in hearing other people's stories and open to new views and ideas. A gentleman never tells others' secrets or talks behind anyone's back. If someone wishes to tell him something confidential, he keeps his word. 

Apologizes 

He also knows to apologize when he's wronged someone. Never does he play the blame game and point the finger or deflect. If he's in the wrong, he admits it, apologizes sincerely, makes amends, and learns. He sees failure as a learning opportunity and a way to improve himself. 

Understands Violence Is Not The Answer 

If a gentleman is faced with someone who challenges his values or beliefs, he does not resort to name-calling or physical violence unless absolutely necessary. He knows that violence is not the answer unless it's in self-defence. He does his best to either rationalize with the person or agree to disagree. A gentleman should be open-minded but also stand for what is right and just.

On Time 

A gentleman knows the importance of being on time. He values both his own and others' time, never wasting it. He's punctual and avoids making others wait. If he is late, he's apologetic and should have a good reason why. 

A gentleman knows how to use his time effectively, as well. Yes, there are times to have fun and let loose, but there's also time to be serious and productive. Time should not be wasted. Our article How To Value Your Time Effectively explains how to get the most out of your time.

Every gentleman should own a watch. How many watches a gentleman needs is answered in our article How Many Watches Does A Modern Gentleman Need?

Humble

If he has an abundance of wealth, owns the latest and greatest in technology, or has accomplished an amazing feat, he does not show off. Rather, he's humble about himself. If someone asks about his possessions or skills, he's more than happy to share, but he is aware that oversharing can come across as bragging.

Emotionally Open

A gentleman is open with his emotions. While he should be stoic when the time calls, he's not afraid to speak about what's troubling him. He's able to express his emotions freely and to confide in friends and loved ones when the need arises. There are no mind games with gentlemen, whether on the giving or receiving end. 

No Judgement 

A gentleman does not judge others. It does not matter who they are or where they came from. He treats everyone equally and with the utmost respect. From the janitor to the CEO of a multi-million company, he is welcoming and polite to all. 

High Hygiene Standards  

He makes sure his personal hygiene is top-notch. Showering often, brushing his teeth, flossing, and taking care of his body should be near the top of his list. Personal hygiene is very important. Especially when dealing with people face to face, going out with friends, or dates.

For a full comprehensive guide on daily hygiene, please read our article Men's Hygiene Checklist: The Ultimate Guide

 Summary:

Gentlemen are not perfect, and don't need to try to be. However, whether it's through reading, exploring the arts, learning new skills, developing character, or even catching up on recent events, a gentleman is always looking at ways to better himself.

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