Three Simple Phrases Every Modern Gentleman Should Know

What are the three simple phrases every modern gentleman should know? They aren't difficult phrases, but it seems that many people neglect to use them. Understandably, we sometimes find our minds preoccupied and forget about them. The police won't come knocking on your door if you don't say them, but overlooking these phrases in your daily vocabulary can cause you to come across as disrespectful.

Sometimes we need others to help us through difficult times. A little assistance can go a long way, especially when the person helping you knows their work was appreciated. These phrases are a sign of respect for the work or help you just provided.

These three phrases can make all the difference in any social situation. Not only are you displaying respect and appreciation but also your values as a gentleman. You must give respect to get respect and actions are louder than words, so put these phrases into action and show others how important they are.

A Gentleman Always Says "Please"

The magic word. A word that can be used when making a request without sounding harsh, pushy, or rude. (examples: "could you please move", "could you pass the buns, please" or "please stop whistling, it is ruining my concentration"). 

By using this word, you are being respectful of the other person. When you use it genuinely (I.e.: it doesn't sound forced, slapped on the end of a sentence, or in a negative connotation), others will oblige and fulfill your request. It is a powerful word that can open doors for you.

Be aware of your tone—if you come across as crass or impatient the other person may take offence and not fulfill your request. Being rude and trying to cover up an aggressive tone with a "please" will not help you, as most people will recognize your tone and not cooperate.

Not adding the world 'please' could cause you to come across as demanding. Have you ever received a text or email with a request and the person did not say please? It may feel like you are obligated to complete the request, or else! On the other hand, by overdoing it through expressions like "pretty please", you risk sounding desperate.

A Gentleman Always Says "Thank You"

Arguably the most important two words a modern gentleman can use. The best friend to the word 'please', 'thank you' is used to express gratitude when someone has gone out of their way to do something nice for us like opening a door when our hands are full, giving a genuine compliment, or paying your bill at a restaurant. 

It is an indication that you appreciate someone's thoughtfulness and an acknowledgement of their good deed. These two words have the power to make someone's day. 

Think of a time when you went out of your way for someone and they looked you in the eyes, smiled, and said thank you. How did that make you feel?

When you make others feel good, you feel good as a result. It is a compounding emotion that spreads easily to others. When you feel good, you do good, and when you do good others feel good. Pass it on and help others.

When someone gives you a genuine compliment, even if you didn't feel you did anything to deserve it, accept it. Say "thank you". Not only will it make them feel good, but it will increase your confidence and self esteem. Someone noticed you did something great, and how does that make you feel inside?

You can always reciprocate the gesture. If the person really went out of their way for you, you could write them a handwritten thank you letter, get a thank you card, or take them out for coffee or lunch. You are going out of your way to show them how much they mean to you and how much their actions have helped you. That will pay dividends by strengthening the relationship. 

A Gentleman Knows When To Say "Sorry" And Mean It

Here is a word that everyone has difficulty with—unless you are a true-blooded Canadian. We never want to admit when we are in the wrong, as it hurts our self-esteem, confidence, and image.

We have flaws, but so does everyone else. It's easy to pass the blame onto something or someone else if we can avoid putting it on ourselves and avoid humility. We don't want to show vulnerability when we have been conditioned to be strong and stoic.

Whether intentional or not, it takes a lot of courage to apologize to someone when we hurt their feelings or wronged them in any way. Refusal to apologize can damage relationships, sometimes irreparably. If you do not recognize that you did something wrong, or choose to ignore it, the other person may see you as selfish or uncouth.

An effective apology must be sincere. Own up to your mistake by telling the other person what you did and how you plan to make amends. Fixing the relationship does not require a 10-step plan. Simply offering a kind gesture may be enough to restore trust and begin rebuilding the relationship, although failing to fulfill your plan may worsen the situation. 

This drives home the need to honor your commitment and make a promise to yourself that you will not let that person down again. Apologies take time so don't try to rush or over-promise in hopes of repairing the relationship faster.

It is never too late to say you are sorry.

Summary:

It does not cost anything to be considerate. Practicing these small habits can have an everlasting effect on your rapport, alleviate tempers, and strengthen relationships with others. When you are considerate of others and show them respect, they will respect you in return.

These phrases can be overused, so use them when the situation calls for it. Overusing any word will cause it to lose meaning. An Esteemed Gentleman knows the value of his words and his actions. If you'd like to learn more about manners and etiquette, please read our article Why Should I Be A Gentleman?

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