A Simple Guide To Dealing With A*holes, Bullies, Jerks, And Sleazeballs

We've all dealt with them in the past—those people who just make you want to clench your fists and feed them a hook right across the chin. Manipulative, crass, rude, ignorant, stubborn, and the list of terrible traits goes on.

Some people care only about themselves and exploit others for personal gain. It could be a boss, co-worker, classmate, neighbour, or someone on the street who you never encounter again. They bring a black cloud with them everywhere they go, and no matter how polite and respectful you are to them, they still treat you like dirt. After the interaction, you feel worse, and that feeling can be hard to shake. It can ruin your entire day.

Unfortunately, these people are everywhere. Chances are, you have encountered one within the past few days. How did you feel afterward? Was your energy drained? Were you filled with rage and anger? These are all common emotions after dealing with a jerk.

Here are a few effective ways to deal with a*holes, jerks, bullies, and sleazeballs:

They Could Just Be Having An Off Day 

The person who was rude to you may have just been having a bad day. If you have dealt with them before and they're usually positive and spry, give them the benefit of the doubt. 

We can be quick to judge when someone hurts our feelings, and letting the feelings eat us up inside can ruin a relationship. They could be dealing with the loss of a loved one, recent unemployment, problems at home or work, or something else.

Sometimes emotions get the best of us and we can unintentionally be jerks to people we care about. If this is the first time this person has behaved like this, let it slide. More often than not they'll apologize when they get their emotions in check. Do not use this one-off bad day as ammunition for future arguments.

If the person shows a consistent pattern of bullying, then you can label them as a jerk and omit this step. If anything, it may be the other way around and they may have one-off days where they're nice. Don't let your defenses fall; it could be a trap. 

If they seem more open or cheerful on certain days, they could be trying to get you to open up and spill some important details about your life or relationships with others. They might use that tidbit of information against you later.

Just Walk Away 

Sometimes the best way to deal with a jerk is to just walk away. Let them make an arse of themselves and cause a scene. Who do you think is going to get more attention? The person walking away or the person yelling and screaming and acting like a toddler who didn't get their way?

If you work in the same office or are in the same class, speak to a superior. More often than not, they will be able to address the issue. This may mean that they, or you, get moved to a different room or area. If this isn't feasible, do your absolute best to minimize the amount of time you spend around this person.

This may mean taking lunch breaks at a different time, changing hours so you avoid them arriving or leaving work, or just ignoring them when they try to engage. If the a-hole is your boss, speak to HR (human resources). Document the times and places when the incidents occur and ask fellow colleagues to take notice as well.

Being the bigger person and keeping your cool in hostile situations with a jerk will always lead to better results than copying their actions. When they raise their voice, resist the urge to raise yours. If you engage in the same aggressive behaviour, primal instincts take over, and instead of figuring out a solution, the situation becomes a shouting match and nothing is solved.

Remember: the calm, cool, and collected will always win in an argument. If you do not reciprocate their aggression, they may lower their tone to yours. If they continue to be loud and obnoxious, ask yourself if any further engagement is beneficial to you. If not, walk away.

Don't Catch The A*hole Bug! It's VERY Contagious  

Toxic behaviour can be contagious. Maybe you've heard how these people speak to others, how much they gossip, or how everything and everyone except them are useless, stupid, or incompetent. Chances are, if they talk like that about everyone else, they're also saying the same about you when you aren't around.

Hearing rumours or gossip about others can be extremely hurtful, especially if it concerns people you care about. Do not engage with any rumours or gossip. Let your experiences with those people be more impactful than hearsay.

The moment you start spreading rumours and gossip, you have sunk down to the level of the jerk. Don't let their negativity influence you or your views of others. It can be tempting to let the subject of the rumours know what was said about them, especially if you care about them, but be mindful that this can do more harm than good.

NEVER Stoop Down To Their Level 

Yelling and screaming at the bully, or giving them a 'taste of their own medicine' often seems tempting. You may have opportunities to exact revenge on jerks, but this will not benefit you in the long run. 

Although it may seem like the best solution in the moment and could satisfy your desire to hurt someone who has hurt you, all you're doing is turning it into a game. Jerks are typically vindictive and narcissistic. They will always try to get back at someone who has harmed them. You may think you leveled the score, but they're already planning on how to take the lead.

Nothing is gained in revenge. Instead, take the negative energy and focus on a skill you want to improve or a hobby. By channeling your energy into positive pursuits, you can focus on bettering yourself instead of slopping around amongst the miscreants. 

Don't Fuel Their Fire

This can be difficult, but by simply not engaging with the jerk, you can avoid all the negative and hurtful things they say. It requires a lot of discipline and a stoic mindset, but by reminding yourself that what they say to you has no merit, you can keep the black clouds at bay.

By not giving them any attention whatsoever, you cannot fuel their fire. It is well known that bullies thrive on attention and feedback. Eventually they will realize they aren't getting the satisfaction they want from you and they'll move on. 

Summary

Some people don't think about the consequences of their actions, instead preferring to shoot first and ask questions later, or never. Keep your composure in situations when you are dealing with a jerk. At the end of the day, anyone who is an asshole does not deserve your attention.

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