How To Give Advice Without Being Pushy

When giving advice to someone, you must remember that there is a fine line between being helpful and being pushy. You may think that you are being supportive, but the person listening to you may think you are giving them unsolicited advice.

Unsolicited advice often falls on deaf ears and creates pushback from people as it often comes across as bossy or a power move. In this article we will explain three effective ways you can give advice to someone without sounding pushy.

Method #1: Get Them To Talk It Out

The first method to give advice without being pushy is to get the other person to just start talking about their problem. Avoid prying or asking invasive questions. Instead, be a good listener and let them speak their mind. Be sure to pay attention to any important details they may reveal.

Once you have an idea of what they need help with, you can begin to ask questions like:

• "Have you given this much thought?"
• "What is your next step?"
• "How do you think you will get through this?"

These kinds of questions will get the other person thinking about solutions. Remember that people are more likely to follow plans they created themselves over anything suggested to them.

This is called 'self-ownership' and it can work to your advantage if you want to help someone while also giving the appearance that they solved their problem all on their own.

Venting Advice: Some people may not want solutions. Perhaps they had a bad day and just want to vent about something to relieve some stress. In these cases, it is best to lend an ear and be empathetic.

Method #2: Ask Them If They Want Help, Advice, Or Your Opinion  

The easiest way to find out if someone wants your advice is to simply ask them. If they say "yes", then they are giving you permission to share your thoughts and ideas with them. This also means that they will be more receptive to you and what you have to say. Your advice will be taken seriously.

Even if they already have a solution in mind, they may want to hear your opinions to either help solidify what they were already thinking or to alter their plan based on new information you share with them.

If they say "no", respect their decision. Do not try to double down or try to convince them that they should listen to you or that you can solve their problem; it could really backfire and cost you a friendship. Trying to change their mind can have them dig in their heels and fully refusing your help both in the moment and in the future.

When Giving Advice, Use "I" Language

If they do ask you for advice, the most effective advice you can give is when you deliver it using "I" language. "I" language is when you speak as if you yourself were in the situation or scenario they described.

"I" language feels invitational. Use phrases like:

• "If I was in that situation, here is what I would do."
• "This is how I would solve that problem."
• "I dealt with something similar before. Here is what I did."

Putting yourself in their shoes takes the pressure off of them and allows them to visualize what course of action you would take to solve the problem. This detachment also removes any defensive feelings they may have since you are not questioning their decisions or actions.

When describing what you would do, explain your process in simple, easy to understand language. Speak in a calm, controlled tone and use small pauses to allow them time to digest what you said and allow it to resonate.

Summary

Giving advice without being pushy takes both patience and practice. Do not feel let down if the person you are trying to help does want, or use, your advice. Trust yourself that you are guiding them towards a solution.

Even if they do not accept your help, kindly remind them that you are always available to help if they change their mind.

 Want to develop your people skills? Read these articles next:

• 10 Ways To Leave Your Comfort Zone

• Become A Supercommunicator: Three Types Of Conversations You Need To Know

• Boost Your Mentoring Abilities With These 4 Proven Steps

• How To Start Asking Better Questions

• Speak With Impact: 7 Tips On How To Captivate Any Audience

Did you enjoy this article? Learn something new? Share it with a friend and follow Esteemed Gentleman on social media to stay up to date with new articles and posts!

Links:

Facebook

Instagram

Don't forget to sign up below to stay up to date on new articles and reviews we publish!