What Is Authenticity? How Do I Become Authentic?

Definitions of authenticity will vary from person to person, but the common thread is that authenticity involves living your life the way you want to live it based off your values, passions, personality, relationships, needs, and desires. So how do you become authentic?

An authentic person isn't easily swayed to act against their beliefs by external influences such as advertising, social media, or peer pressure. This person embraces their uniqueness and isn't afraid to express themselves. They know they aren't perfect and that's okay. They also know that they are bettering themselves every day. How? By aligning their actions with their true values and convictions.

Why Be Authentic?

An authentic life has the positive qualities of integrity, trust, respect, and confidence. You've likely met someone who possesses these qualities. These are people whose strong positive energy and charisma can light up a room, and who make you feel special and loved whenever you're in their presence.

They've spent many of their waking hours aligning their passions, strengths, and lifestyle choices to become a person who is true to their words, beliefs, and values. This is a skill that requires dedication but can be learned by anyone.

Authenticity doesn't happen overnight. It takes years of introspection, life experience, and awareness. If you want to discover their authentic self, here are some easy tips on how to do it:

Ask Yourself: "What Are My Values?"

To get an idea of who your authentic self is, you first need to identify your values. To get a sense of your values, you need to ask yourself what you hold dear, and reflect on memories where you felt most fulfilled and joyful. Think about the happiest times in your life. What were you doing? Who were you with? Write these down. Be as descriptive as you want. Once you have a list, organize them into groups of similar themes. This will be your baseline of values.

Here is a small list of some values you may have:

• Creativity
• Empathy
• Family
• Humour
• Individuality
• Personal development
• Relationships
• Success
• Wisdom

If you are having trouble identifying your values, there are many online quizzes and tests that can help you get started. We recommend this free online personal values assessment.

Once you have determined your values, you can start incorporating them into your authentic self. Being mindful of your values will greatly assist you when it comes to deciding how you spend your time. You may want to develop a new skill or become more assertive with your work-life boundaries to allow you to spend more time with family or enjoy your free time without guilt.

Explore Your Hobbies, Interests, And Passions 

You'll likely find some overlap between your values, your hobbies, interests, and passions. For instance, someone who values fitness would tend to consume a healthy diet and avoid drugs and alcohol. This person is likely interested in sports and athletic activities. Their hobbies could include running, physical sports, or going to the gym.

You could also work backwards from your hobbies, interests, and passions to find your values. To do this, ask yourself questions like:

• What excites me? What am I passionate about?
• What could I talk about for hours on end without becoming bored?
• If money was no option, what would I spend my days doing? Where would I live?
• Do my friends come to me for advice? If so, what do they ask me about?

Your hobbies, interests, and passions help define who you are and play a large role in your authenticity.

Practice Mindfulness 

Mindfulness comes in many forms; it can look like paying attention to what you say and how you say it, avoiding judging others, focusing on your tasks without interruption, and having a morning or evening routine where you journal and/or meditate. The key to practicing mindfulness is to be aware of your words, actions, and thoughts. 

Taking some time either at the beginning or end of your day to practice mindfulness will help you stay focused on your journey to becoming an authentic person. Keeping a journal on your nightstand is a great way to keep your thoughts and emotions in check when you do a mental checklist of all the things you accomplished that day, what you are grateful for, and what your most exciting part of the day was.

Learn To Love 

Love is a powerful emotion that helps us to be compassionate, relate to others, and form strong bonds. Love isn't just romance; it's also supporting people in our lives, helping those around us, and celebrating the success of others. When we learn to love, we show others that they can trust us, rely on us to keep promises, and confide in us when they need support.

Love is an ability we should all actively work on improving. In a world full of tension, worry, and fear, love unites us and keeps us safe. Do something nice for someone, hold the door open for a stranger, phone your parents, rekindle an old friendship. Develop authentic love.

Learn to love not only others but also yourself. When you learn to love yourself, you'll soon embrace your uniqueness and characteristics, ignore negative self-talk, apologize to yourself, realize it's okay to make mistakes, remind yourself of your values, trust yourself more, and ignore negativity.

Build A Support Group 

Your support group should consist of like-minded, positive, respectful people. These people tend to share your values, interests, and passions, so think of them as your teammates and cheer squad. These are the people you rely on when the going gets tough or when you need a bit of a pick-me-up.

You want to feel like people have your back when you're feeling down and out. Having someone you can confide in, be inspired by, and become re-energized with will help you get back up on your feet and keep moving forward.

Finding a coach or mentor can help you streamline your success in practically any field or discipline. These people have already been on the journey, so they can offer advice to help you avoid wasting time or doing unproductive tasks. They may have used a routine that you can borrow to help you get better faster.

Develop A B.S. Meter 

There will be times when your authenticity will be challenged. Someone might question your choices or beliefs, a post on social media might bring out negative emotions, or you may be caught in the crossfire of someone's venting. You may feel emotionally attacked and want to retaliate.

A BS meter is a quick mental self-scan when you start to feel like you're losing control of your emotions. It's a self-assessment where you ask yourself "is this person genuine or just trying to get a reaction?" Once you are able to decipher where they're coming from, you can decide if you want to react with good intention or just walk away and not get involved in what could potentially become a heated argument.

Not everyone you meet is genuine. Sometimes people will try to use you for their own personal gain. Your BS meter will help you determine if they have good intentions or just want to get something from you for free. This helps eliminate negative and toxic people in your life.

Become Comfortable Stepping Outside Of Your Comfort Zone 

Part of developing authenticity is learning to step out of your comfort zone and facing your fears from time to time. This can be easier said than done, but have no fear because we have an entire article on How To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone. You don't need to take one huge giant step and conquer your fears, but rather realize that even baby steps lead to progress.

If we never step out of our comfort zone, we will never be able to discover different cuisines from around the world, new music, or any other thing that ends up captivating us so much it becomes part of our identity. If you find that you struggle leaving your comfort zone, please read our article 10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone for helpful advice and tips.

Let Go Of Things That Don't Align With Your Beliefs And Values 

If you want to live an authentic life, you must remove any and all things that don't align with your core values, beliefs, and passions. These include contradicting values, negative and toxic people, and things you do for others that don't leave you feeling fulfilled.

If you claim to be passionate about learning a new instrument, but never practice it and instead spend your free time playing video games, that is a contradicting value. If you really want to learn that new instrument, you will make time to do so by eliminating things that don't align with that passion.

Negative and toxic people may try to talk you out of your values, beliefs, and passions by telling you that you aren't good enough, that you're wasting your time and money, or that the new interest has caused them to develop a more negative view of you. Even if they're close friends, you may have to shed them from your life so you can focus on pursuits that fulfill you and align with your authentic self.

Use Criticism And Feedback To Your Advantage

None of us like to be criticized. To most people, just hearing the word is like nails on a chalkboard. We typically have a negative view of criticism, so naturally, we become defensive and dig in our heels or try to deflect any judgement that may come our way.

With a small mindset adjustment, we can take any and all criticism and turn it into a positive experience, helping build a strong foundation for our authenticity. For starters, remind yourself that criticism and feedback provide learning opportunities. Listen with an open mind to what the other person has to say and decide for yourself if their advice is helpful or hurtful.

You don't need to agree with everything they say, but it's good to recognize how your actions are viewed by others. Reflecting on this information can help you become more aware of your actions and of how you are perceived by the people around you.

The simplest way to accept criticism and feedback is with a calm demeanor. Be open to what the other person has to say, ask specific questions or for examples if you don't fully understand, acknowledge the feedback, and work towards a solution. You do not want to get into an argument or resort to name-calling or pointing out the other persons flaws.

If you do happen to be the target of someone who is just trying to get under your skin or frustrate you, our simple guide to dealing with a*holes, bullies, jerks, and sleazeballs will help you keep the situation under control. Remind yourself to not take things personally.

Take A Break From Social Media 

Social media is a good tool to help keep in touch with friends, discover local events, be a part of groups and pages that interest you, and spend hours scrolling through hundreds and hundreds of pictures of cats. Although this is all good and fun, there seems to be a thinning line between entertainment and resentment. The constant barrage of advertisements, AI images, fake news, and influencers is creating a pessimistic landscape that more and more people are beginning to avoid.

With the rise in mental health awareness, scientists have been publishing more and more papers on the harmful effects of social media including increased reports of anxiety, bullying, and depression in both youths and adults. Self-harm and suicide rates have also been rising in recent years alongside the increase in time spend on social media.

Limiting or taking a break from social media from time to time can be healthy. The constant barrage of negativity and subconscious judgement can lead to depression, which can affect other facets of your life including your relationships, performance at work, and daily thoughts.

It's good practice to put your phone in another room so you aren't tempted to grab it and start mindlessly scrolling. Your time is better spent doing something productive like working on a hobby, developing your skills, reading, getting fresh air, hanging out with friends, or just taking some time to meditate or journal.

Summary:

Authenticity is a product of many factors that you can mold and sculpt to your liking. Working towards an authentic life can be easy if you follow the simple steps laid out in this article. Over time you will see vast improvements in many areas of your life. Soon, it will seem like everything just falls into place and you don't need to work as hard to get what you want.

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