What's The Difference Between Manners And Etiquette?

Manners and etiquette may go hand in hand like peanut butter and jelly, but the two terms are more distinct than you might realize. One is a set of rules closely associated with cultural and social norms while the other is a direct reflection of your character and your authentic self. Understanding the differences between manners and etiquette will help you become a more well-rounded, courteous individual who can act respectfully in any situation and location.

Like chivalry, manners and etiquette aren't dead. Although modern society tends to take a casual approach to life, a strong understanding of manners and etiquette will positively impact you and others around you throughout your life.

What Are Manners?

In a nutshell, manners are general behaviours that are deemed appropriate across most cultures and communities. Examples of good manners include covering your coughs and sneezes, holding doors open for others, and saying please and thank you. They are polite verbal and non-verbal interactions that are considered selfless, not selfish. When you are considerate of those around you and put them first, you are practicing good manners.

Well-mannered people are usually viewed as respectful, courteous, and polite. These people can make anyone feel welcome and accepted, act in a civil and courteous manner no matter the occasion, and treat everyone with respect.

If you find yourself in a situation where you don't know the proper etiquette rules, you can often get by with a general sense of courtesy and good manners. In situations like this, it's best to ask someone for advice or copy someone who looks like they know what they're doing.

What Is Etiquette? 

Etiquette is closely associated with customs and social norms that vary from culture to culture. Examples of etiquette include dress codes, knowing when to remove your hat, or giving someone a proper greeting, like a handshake, when you meet them. 

What is customary in one culture may be disrespectful in another; tipping at a restaurant in Japan or blowing your nose in public in Saudi Arabia are considered disrespectful. In north American culture, they are not.

Unlike basic manners, how closely the rules of etiquette are followed can vary depending on the formality of the event. Social cues, customs, and guidelines should all be taken into consideration if you want to practice good etiquette. You'd be forgiven for using your salad fork as your table fork at many casual restaurants, but it could be considered disrespectful at a formal dinner event.

Are There Any Benefits To Having Good Manners And Etiquette? 

Practicing good manners and etiquette has abundant benefits. Your friends, family, and other peers will respect you more and will speak highly of you even when you aren't around. They will look up to you as a genuinely kind, caring person.

Not only this, but manners and etiquette will open doors to more new opportunities for you, be your calling card, and leave a lasting first impression on people. Being an authentic and respectful person will inspire others to do the same, making the world just a bit better.

Should You Correct Someone Who Demonstrates Bad Manners And/Or Etiquette?

There will be times when you will witness someone being disrespectful. You may ask yourself "did anyone teach them to mind their manners?" You may be wondering if you should intervene and correct them. Even if you have the best of intentions, it's not advisable to tell someone they're acting in a disrespectful manner, unless it's a close friend or family member.

If it's something minor, like if someone speaks too loudly during a movie, you can politely ask them to lower their voice. They may acknowledge you and adjust their volume, or they may dismiss you and keep being disruptive. If the latter occurs, it's best to just walk away and not start a scene. If you are in an area with security or staff, you can raise the issue with them. They can intervene and correct the situation.

Some people don't believe in good manners or etiquette, perhaps thinking that their social status or job title puts them above respect and politeness. Perhaps they think these are all hoity-toity things only rich people in castles do. Or maybe they just enjoy being jerks. If the latter is the case, we have written a survival guide on how you can survive the attack of the A*holes, bullies, jerks, and Sleazeballs.

Summary 

Although manners and etiquette are related, they are separate concepts. Understanding the differences and where they apply in societies and cultures will not only benefit you but also other people in your presence. Practicing good manners and etiquette will help you better understand and navigate social situations with less hesitation and stress.

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