First Date Mistakes: 5 Conversation Topics To Steer Clear From

First dates can be equally exciting and nerve-racking. There are many things to consider like choosing what to wear, deciding what to do and, the most important thing, knowing what to talk about.

Picking appropriate topics for conversations can feel like a minefield. In this article we will discuss five topics to avoid talking about on a first date. We are not saying these topics should be completely off limits, but they can be divisive.

Some Quick Tips For A Successful First Date:

There is a lot of factors that come in to play for a successful first date. When it comes to conversations, here are a few quick tips we recommend:

• Don't ask too many questions at once. Asking too many questions can make the date feel more like an interview or interrogation rather than a first date.

• Keep differing opinions to yourself. If your date says something you do not agree with, avoid making negative remarks or judgmental comments that may offend them.

• Keep your phone in your pocket. Looking at your phone more than your date tells them you aren't interested. Phubbing is a big etiquette no-no. Avoid it at all costs.

• Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Not every first date will be a success. If there's no chance for a second date, remind yourself there are more opportunities out there.

• Be yourself! Be authentic! Do not pretend to be someone you are not.

5 Topics To Avoid Talking About On A First Date 

First dates should be focused on getting to know the other person and creating positive memories. Try to keep conversation on the lighter side and focus your time on seeing if you click.

Here are five topics we suggest avoiding talking about on first dates.

1. Talking About Yourself Endlessly (Or Giving One-Word Answers)

Remember: there are two people on this date, not just one. Your date wants to know more about you and you should want to know more about them, too. If all you do is talk about yourself, you will bore them. Keep conversations light.

Think of good conversations like a game of tennis: someone asks a question, the other person replies and the discussion goes back and forth. It's a good practice to avoid one-word answers as this usually brings the chat to a halt. Instead, keep the questions and answers open-ended so your date has an opportunity to answer and respond.

If you are struggling to find topics to discuss on your first date here is a list to keep in your back pocket:

• Likes and dislikes
• Hobbies and interests
• Travel (both past and future)
• Goals and ambitions

It can be very easy to get carried away in a monologue on a first date, especially if you are nervous. To avoid this, practice taking a deep breath and pausing after every few sentences. If you are uncomfortable speaking a lot, ask your date two questions for every one they ask you. This will help alleviate some of the anxiety.

For advice on how to make small talk, read our article 3 Simple Steps For Effective Small Talk.

2. Exes And Past Relationships

Do not open up the ex files. No matter how good or bad your previous relationships were, or how they ended, keep those stories and opinions to yourself. Constantly talking about your ex may have your date wondering if you still have feelings for them or if you are ready for a new relationship.

If the topic of past relationships does come up during your first date, keep it casual and discuss it like adults. There's no need to name-call your ex or tell your date how terrible they were. Talking badly about exes can be a big red flag to your potential partner. They may wonder what you would say about them if things didn't work out.

3. Sexual History (Yours Or Theirs) 

Sex is a very personal subject for many people. Discussing it openly and freely with someone on a first date may have them wondering if that's all you want out of it.

Even asking questions like "How long have you been single?" or "When was your last date?" may sound harmless to you but your date could find them a bit too personal to discuss on a first date. Some people feel uncomfortable discussing their dating lives.

4. Polarizing Topics Like Finances, Politics, Religion, And Sex

The big four topics to avoid discussing on a first date are: politics, religion, sex, and finances. Many people have strong opinions on these subjects and may feel uncomfortable sharing them on a first date. Discussing these subjects, even if lightly touching on an issue, could create heated debates that could turn into an argument, derailing the date entirely.

5. Your Insecurities Or Past Traumas

Being vulnerable builds trust in relationships, but opening up too much on a first date can be overwhelming for the other person. Going in to detail about past traumas, insecurities and worries can easily change the dynamic of the date from a fun time to an impromptu one-sided psychiatry session.

While it is fine to discuss current events and concerns about the world, going in to detail about what only your psychiatrist should hear should not be shared with anyone else. Keep the mood light and the conversations bubbly. Having a fun first date will leave a lasting impression and increase the chances of a second.

Summary

First dates are all about finding the spark between you and your potential love interest. Knowing what topics to discuss and what ones to avoid plays a major role in the success of your date and the possibility of more. Keep conversations light and comfortable to avoid any awkward silence or wary responses.

Looking for more first date advice? Here are some articles you may find interesting:

• 15 Affordable First Date Ideas
• Does A Gentleman Kiss On A First Date?
• Who Pays On A First Date?
• Why Going To The Movies Is Not A Good Idea For A First Date
• How Soon Should You Follow Up After A First Date?

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