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Napkin Etiquette Made Easy: Dos, Don'ts, And Must-Know Tips
In this article we will explain the importance of napkin etiquette while seated at the table. We will also explain what to do with your napkin if you need to leave the table, if it falls under the table, and once you finish your meal.
First, let us briefly explain the importance of napkins and the purposes they serve:
Why Do We Use Napkins At The Table?
The primary purpose of a napkin at the table is to protect your clothing from spills and crumbs. Napkins also provide a discrete way to clean your mouth and fingers while seated at the dining table.
Placing your napkin on your legs means it will not interfere with any tableware. Plus, place settings appear more sanitary when napkins are out of sight. Laying a napkin on your lap is an important rule to follow in dining etiquette.
Napkins are not meant to be used as a quick to-go container. Do not under any circumstances place food directly on the napkin then try and wrap it up and take it home with you. You should also refrain from placing any unchewable pieces of food on your napkin.
What To Do With Your Napkin At The Table:
Place your napkin on your lap as soon as you sit at the table. Do not tuck the napkin in to your pants or the bottom of your shirt and do not stuff it in to the top of your shirt like a bib. The napkin should be unfurled and laid directly over top of your legs.
This signals to the wait staff that you are ready to order your first course. It is also a sign of good manners and shows respect to the establishment and the company you are in the presence of.
If you are dining at a buffet style restaurant, you do not need to place your napkin on your lap right away. Instead, place the napkin on your lap once you have returned to your table with your meal.
If You Are Dining With A Host Or Hostess, Follow Their Lead
If you are dining with a host, or hostess, be sure to follow their lead. Do not place your napkin on your lap until they have placed their napkin on their lap. This is a sign of respect to the host and should always be followed.
If, for some reason, they do not place a napkin on their lap, you should place yours once your meal has been served. Do not start eating your meal until the host does, unless they have clearly stated that you can begin without them.
How To Unfurl Your Napkin The Right Way
When you unfurl your napkin, do so under the table in a discreet manner. One fluid motion is all you need before placing it on your lap. Do not snap or shake it open above the table or make a grand spectacle of it.
The most effective way to unfurl your napkin is to grab it by two adjacent corners and unfurl it just past your knees. Then pull the napkin up by the two corners until it touches your waist.
Most napkins can be unfurled completely. Larger napkins should be folded in half with the folded end towards your body and the open edge towards your knees. This will prevent crumbs from falling into the folds of the napkin and landing on your lap when you move the napkin.
What To Do If Your Napkin Has A Napkin Ring:
Napkin rings are used in formal settings as decorations. If your napkin has a napkin ring, remove it and place it in the top-left corner of your place setting above your plate. Do not place it on the plate or fiddle with it.
When you are finished eating and ready to leave the table, loosely fold the napkin, pull it through the napkin ring, and place it above your plate. Refrain from placing napkins directly on plates, especially if they have a napkin ring.
Leave Your Napkin On Your Lap During The Entire Meal
Your napkin should remain on your lap during the entire meal. This includes after-dinner coffee, digestifs, and desserts. The only exception where you can remove your napkin is if you need to temporarily excuse yourself from the table.
If you need to leave the table during your meal, place your napkin on your chair with the soiled side facing up. This prevents any foodstuffs from ending up on your seat and transferring to your rear end when you sit down.
Clean Your Mouth Using Only The Corners Of The Napkin
When cleaning your mouth with your napkin, dab the sides of your mouth using a corner of the napkin. Do not wipe from side to side or up and down and definitely do not blow your nose in to your napkin. Blowing your nose at the dining table is impolite (and unsanitary).
If you need to blow your nose, excuse yourself and do so in the washroom. Our article Stop The Spread: Essential Sneezing Etiquette Tips You Need To Know explains how to sneeze effectively without spreading germs.
While there is no eloquent way to remove a piece of gristle, fat, or bone from your mouth, proper etiquette says to cover your mouth with one of your hands and use whichever utensil you used to put it in your mouth to retrieve it. Then place it on the side of your plate. You can then cover it with a piece of garnish if you wish.
What To Do If Your Napkin Falls To The Floor:
Do not attempt to retrieve your napkin should it slide off your legs and fall on to the floor. Even if the floor looks clean or the napkin lands on your shoes, consider the napkin soiled. Inform the wait staff next time they come to the table and politely ask for a new one.
Leaning down under the table to recover your napkin is almost guaranteed to get you odd looks from other diners at your table, especially if they do not know what you are doing. This can draw unwanted attention to you if you are attending a formal gala, wedding, or a black/white tie event.
Where Should You Place Your Napkin When You Are Finished Your Meal?
When you are completely finished your meal, loosely fold your napkin and place it to the left-hand side of your plate. This signals to the wait staff that you are finished eating. Do not place the napkin on your plate, especially if your meal contained sauces. This is an unwritten rule of dining etiquette.
Summary
Knowing what to do with your napkin at the table shows others you possess good manners, civility, hygiene, and respect.
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