Most people struggle with remembering names, especially as we age. While we would like to believe that our mind is organized systematically, like a structured office floor filled with cubicles each with their own specialized filing cabinet, we are more like the flustered employee who piles everything on their desk in one massive unorganized stack.
When we hear someone's name, it can be difficult to remember after the conversation, even when we remember other details like their hobbies or career. It doesn't have to be that way. Here are 16 tips you can use to help you remember names when it matters most:
When you meet someone and they introduce themselves, repeat their name back to them. Saying something like "Nice to meet you, [name]." This will help you remember their name before jumping right into a conversation.
Try to sprinkle their name into the conversation a couple times. Not only does this make them feel more emotionally connected (since you're directing the conversation to them), but it also helps you to remember their name.
Use their name once more when the conversation has concluded. A simple farewell such as "It was nice meeting you, [name]. I look forward to talking to you again." can solidify their name in your mind.
Verbal and mental repetition are great ways to help you memorize information such as names. Once your conversation with that person has ended, mentally (or verbally) say the name back to yourself as many times as you need.
Spaced repetition, a technique of memorization with pauses between repetitions, is a more effective method of remembering names than mass repetition (repeating something over and over without pausing).
Do your best to not let your mind wander off. Avoid distracting thoughts and do your best to remain present. Being present in the conversation and listening to what the other person has to say will keep you from forgetting anything you've logged in your short-term memory bank.
For some, remembering a job or hobby is easier than remembering someone's name. If you fall into this group, try linking their job to their name. An example could be "Roger from accounting." You may not remember the name Roger, but you may remember that he's an accountant.
You can also make a connection between them and a celebrity with the same name. It helps if they also know of the celebrity.
Association can be as simple as a play on words, a joke, a rhyme, or a song that you can sing to yourself to remember their name. This may not work for everyone, but if you have an active imagination, you can picture them doing something silly. Some examples are:
Being able to link someone to an interest is helpful when remembering their name, especially if they share a common interest with you. This deeper connection allows their name to come up when you're discussing your hobby with others.
If their interest is unique, like competitive duck herding or collecting barf bags from airlines, that'll definitely stick out and you will have an easier time connecting their name to it.
Do they have a unique moustache that curls at the end? A big, bushy beard? A scar or other distinct feature?
A unique facial feature is easier to remember than something more common like eye colour. Science shows that most of us are better at remembering names than faces; however, it doesn't hurt to try to remember a face as well.
It's rare to find someone who isn't on at least one social media platform. Following each other on social media can help you associate a name with a face or other information on their account.
Taking a screenshot of their social media profile can help you link a name to a face. Taking it a step further and organizing folders in your gallery like co-workers, friends, and friends of friends, can provide you with a quick reference before an important meeting or party where you may encounter these people.
If you're meeting people at a group social event like a party or wedding, introducing your new acquaintance to your friends in the group is a great way to help you remember their name.
And, if you ever forget their name, one of your friends may remember. This also can ease any tension should the person you just met be new to the company or unfamiliar with others in the group.
This tip may be considered cheating, but if you're about to enter a meeting or important event, having a list of the important people's names, positions/titles, and something to talk about in your back pocket (literally), could help you in a sticky situation should you have a brain fart and forget someone's name on the spot. Referring to the list before the event could save you from an embarrassing moment.
If you are a businessperson, you likely have business cards. Business cards contain important information like a person's name, professional title, company name, and a form of contact like email or social media. Having this information available can help you remember their name by associating it with their employer or business, or their job title.
If you are someone who likes to keep business cards in holders, always carry a separate holder to keep all the cards you receive. At the end of the day, you can sort them into a rolodex or keep them together in a stack for future reference.
Some people like to organize them alphabetically by name, by occupation, or by company name.
Inevitably, we will meet someone with a name we have never heard before. Asking them to pronounce it slowly and/or spell it will save you from embarrassing yourself. In some languages, certain letters are pronounced differently or are altogether silent.
Even some more common names have spelling variations (think: Caitlin/Kaitlin/Katelyn). Knowing how someone spells their name not only shows them that you are considerate, but also that you won't embarrass yourself or them if you spell their name wrong in an email or on a letter. While some may not be bothered, others may get upset.
We may think a unique name may be easier to remember than a common name, but sometimes it can be more difficult. Asking the person where their name came from can give you another way to remember it. Some names have a deeply rooted cultural history; this person could be named after a famous ruler or a biblical figure.
If you're meeting a bunch of people at once or in a very short amount of time, challenge yourself to see how many names you can remember. Try using the tips listed above to help. If you're going with someone, challenge them to see how many names they remembered. The winner gets a prize.
In some small groups, people may be asked to stand up and introduce themselves. This can be a great time to write down their names and occupations if you are trying to network or make connections. This eliminates the need for a second introduction.
While telling the truth takes courage, you may wish to hesitate before admitting that you are poor at remembering names. While the intention is pure, the other person may get the impression that you don't care enough to remember their name, that they aren't important, or that you are forgetful. Whatever conclusion they reach, they may not be as enthusiastic to converse with you or expect you to remember anything they say.
Some of us become nervous or anxious around new people and may forget their names shortly after they told us. It happens to all of us. If that happens to you, you should:
Although we'd like to think our memories are great, or not, we all forget names now and then. In an unfamiliar environment, meeting many people in a short time or experiencing high levels of sensory stimuli like loud music may make us less likely to remember. We are human, after all.
There is no shame in asking someone to repeat their name. More often than not, they will be understanding and will tell you. It's better to ask than to go weeks, months, or even years not remembering what their name is.
Some people are known by a nickname. If you're just meeting someone for the first time but have heard of their nickname beforehand, ask them what they'd like to be called. If they want you to call them by their nickname, they will tell you. If not, just call them by their normal name.
Some nicknames are only used in specific contexts, like at work or with certain friends. You may be considered an outsider if you aren't part of that particular group or environment. If that's the case, ask them if you can call them by that nickname, or don't use that name at all until you're involved with that group.
Remembering someone's name is a struggle for many people. Practice makes perfect, so even if you forget someone's name, try again until it becomes second nature. Refer back to this article and try other methods to see what works best for you.
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