Why Etiquette And Manners Matter In The Modern World

In today's modern world, informal greetings and screen time have increased drastically. We spend more time answering emails and texts than we do interacting with people face-to-face. So you may be asking yourself, "why should I even bother learning about etiquette and manners? They're outdated."

Here's Why: 

There's more to manners and etiquette than knowing not to chew with your mouth open or holding the door for someone. While some think that these guidelines are old-fashioned and that holding your pinkie out while sipping your afternoon tea is pretentious, manners and etiquette play an important role in the life of a gentleman.

At face value, manners and etiquette may seem like doing good deeds for others just because you can or presenting yourself in a professional manner, but under the surface, they positively impact both the gentleman and the person he is helping.

Manners help improve relationships, strengthen communication, build self-confidence, and help us develop good rapport with others. Etiquette shows others that we are aware of our surroundings and act accordingly. We shouldn't behave like wild animals unless we are in an exhibit at the zoo.

Beyond 'Please' And 'Thank You'

While "please" and "thank you" are pleasantries that most everyone says, a gentleman knows that when he uses those powerful words, he means them. (Our article Three Simple Phrases Every Modern Gentleman Should Know, goes into more detail) A courteous gentleman respects the efforts of others. He is mindful of his actions and words. Present in the moment, he understands the need to make others feel comfortable in various situations. Not pushy or demanding, he respects boundaries.

Manners Show Consideration For Others 

Manners and etiquette have a powerful influence on relationships. When you are willing to go above and beyond to assist others, even in small ways like asking about their day or using your own time to help them complete a task, they appreciate it. Even if they don't say anything, trust that they are grateful. Some people don't feel comfortable saying thank you or acknowledging a good deed.

Learning even the basics of etiquette shows others that you are considerate both of yourself and of them. You respect them, their company, and the environment you're in. By taking the extra few seconds to put the napkin on your lap at the dinner table, or by standing clear of an opening elevator door to let occupants off first, you show that you are considerate. These simple actions speak volumes to those that you are just meeting. People in professional industries really pay attention to those small details.

Applying manners and etiquette can open doors to new opportunities. When you outwardly express your consideration toward others, they see your true character firsthand. This can lead to new opportunities down the road. You never know when you may run into this person again. They could be a future co-worker, neighbour, or friend. 

Manners Affect Others 

When you do nice things for others, it's like you're a ray of sunshine brightening their day. Your glow and warmth will make them feel good. A positive attitude is contagious. The practice of empathy and generosity pays off in dividends. Not only does doing a good deed make the other person feel good, but when we express gratitude it gives us a bit of a serotonin boost as well. 

Not Everyone Appreciates Manners

Some people might refuse to use manners and etiquette in their lives; these are people who may have been raised without them or don't see the value in them. While it should be obvious that the benefits of courtesy far outweigh the negatives, some are adamant that good manners are useless or make you look weak. If you encounter someone who mocks you for your new gentlemanly skill, simply ignore them. They fail to see the positives and are trying to bring you down to their level.

While some may not be willing to learn manners or accept their value, perhaps believing it makes them less of a man or feeling uncomfortable with vulnerability, that's their choice. It does not mean that you have to stop.

If you reach out to help someone and they refuse, there's no need to state your point or insist on helping. Give them the benefit of the doubt. If they do change their mind and decide to take you up on your offer, gladly accept it. Some people are uncomfortable receiving assistance, but if you keep the idea on the table, they may turn around after some contemplation. If that happens, stay true to your original offer.

Summary:

Manners and etiquette are incredibly valuable tools in the modern world. As a gentleman, they are the cornerstones of how we act, think, and live our lives. They can be used in any situation, location, and with anyone. While most may overlook the overall value and importance of manners and etiquette in todays society, you can stand above the rest by showing others that these simple actions are astonishingly powerful. 

If you would like to read more about how a gentleman should act, our article How Does A Gentleman Act In The Modern World has extra tips for you.

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