18 Important Cell Phone Rules For The Modern Gentleman

Modern gentlemen know that there's a time and place for phones, and by following these guidelines they will understand when to have their phone out and when it should be put away.

In this article, we will be focusing mostly on the device itself and not texting, social media, or apps.

Live In The Moment 

Pulling out your phone during a social event can be tempting. If your favourite band is playing your favourite song, or your favourite player is about to score, it's fine to record these events, but do your best to look above or beside your phone instead of through it. 

You will feel a stronger emotional connection when you are present in the moment, watching the special event unfolding right in front of your eyes, as opposed to watching through your screen.

Hold off on posting the pictures and videos right away. Instead, wait until after the event to share your experience on social media. You may miss exciting parts if you're staring at your phone deciding which filter you want to apply or answering all the messages from curious friends.

With Company? Put The Phone Away 

Whether you're sitting down for dinner with friends at a restaurant or having a cup of coffee at the local café with some coworkers, be mindful of where you put your phone. 

Do not keep your phone on the table. Doing so is a signal to everyone at the table that your phone is just as important as they are. If you're expecting an important call or text, keep it under your leg and on vibrate, as to not disrupt other people.

Don't Phub Those Around You

Phone snubbing, commonly referred to as "phubbing",  is when you choose to look at your phone rather than spending quality time with those around you. Phubbing is a somewhat new term, coined in 2012, but has become quite popular on social media and modern relationship blogs.

Our article What Is Phubbing And How Does It Affect Your Relationships? goes into more detail on the history of phubbing, how to curb the urge to look at your phone, and what to do if you're being phubbed.

Other Places To Keep Your Phone Off

Although it's rare to see a sign prohibiting the use of cell phones at events, there are certain places where you shouldn't be on your phone. Here are a few examples:

• Funeral
• Graduation
• Job Interview
• Library
• Places of worship (church, synagogue, temple, etc.)
• Study hall
• Theatre (live or film)

Resist The Urge To Google 

Sometimes we just need to know a piece of information right away, and it can be tempting to pull out your phone and quickly search it. Although it may seem like you're saving the day, it could come across as rude if you're trying to prove you're right. The proper way would be to kindly ask the other person if they could look it up, or to look it up yourself if you're asked. 

Ask Permission Before Posting Pictures With Others

Some people don't like having their photo taken, or the attention that can come with it. If you have a photoshoot with friends or celebrities, if possible, ask permission before posting any of their pictures online. A funny picture you took of a friend acting silly while drunk, could end up costing this person their job if their employer finds it. You never know who may be lurking on your social media accounts or who may share whatever you post. Good intentions or not, it could create more attention than you expect.

If you take pictures during a concert, you don't need permission to post, but if you catch a performer off the stage, it's polite to ask. They'll usually say yes, but if you ask, they'll appreciate the gesture. 

Take Time To Disconnect From Your Phone

Has this ever happened to you? You set your phone down on a counter or forget it in a jacket pocket. Panic sets in. You feel your heart race as you pat your pant pockets and frantically look around. Maybe you ask a friend to call it in hopes you can hear it (as long as you didn't leave it on silent mode). This can feel like a miniature heart attack. A 2016 article from Health Care Success states that more than 90% of people have their phone within arm's reach at almost all hours of the day. Some of us feel more naked without our phone than we do without clothes.

With how fast paced the world is, we can benefit from time away from electronics. Consider turning your phone off (or at least on silent) for an hour a day and putting it somewhere out of sight. Work on a passion project, pick up a book, practice an instrument, go for a walk, or even journal. The emotional boost you feel will be better than if you were distracted by your phone.

Limit Time Sinks

Scrolling social media can produce a roller coaster of emotions. There's an annoying political post that makes you angry. But then there's a fluffy kitten; how cute! 

Oh no—gas prices are going up, better dig deeper into your pockets. But there's a silly meme about a current event, hilarious! It's going to rain tomorrow? But you just washed your car. Already forgot about it because you're laughing at someone's kid hitting them in the crotch with a baseball. Classic.

Mindless, passive perusing can be fun but it can also be a major time sink. There always seems to be an almost endless quest for something entertaining. Maybe you'll come across some juicy gossip about a favourite celebrity. Maybe you'll look at the time and realize you've been sitting on the toilet for the last 40 minutes and your legs are asleep.

Time is a finite resource and we always seem to wish we had more of it. If we limit our screen time, we will have more usable time to do the important things in our lives. Most apps have an option in their settings that allow users to limit how much time they spend on that particular app. Some phones even have a basic setting that limits the amount of daily usage. If you find yourself spending too much time on your phone, consider applying these settings.

To learn more about using your time effectively, read our article How To Value Your Time Effectively

Some cell phones don't have noise cancelling abilities, and sometimes you or the person on the other line may be in a noisy environment. Be considerate, and speak slightly slower and louder than if you were speaking to them in person. Avoid shouting unless absolutely necessary. If you or the other person can't hear clearly, call them back when you (or they) are in a quieter place.

Speak Clearly 

Some cell phones don't have noise cancelling abilities, and sometimes you or the person on the other line may be in a noisy environment. Be considerate, and speak slightly slower and louder than if you were speaking to them in person. Avoid shouting unless absolutely necessary. If you or the other person can't hear clearly, call them back when you (or they) are in a quieter place.

If the person on the other line says they can't hear you, don't start talking louder or getting upset. Move your phone away from your mouth a little bit or move into a clearer area. If that doesn't work, try hanging up and calling back. There could be interference or crossed signals.

That Food Sure Looks Good… However 

When you're at a restaurant, someone nearby always seems to be taking pictures of their meals for social media. Either you despise them, or you're one of them. Although it can be tempting to showcase the presentation of your plate, limit your time spent taking photos to a few seconds (if you really, really, really need to snap that pic for the 'gram). 

Or, better yet, don't take pictures and just tell others how delicious the food really is. This can open up an invitation to return there and share the experience in person, rather than sensationalizing something your friend may never have the opportunity to try themselves.

Early Mornings And Late Nights Are Off Limits 

Most people try to go to bed at a decent hour. Or so they say. Being woken up in the middle of the night by a call or text can be frustrating, especially if it isn't a family member or friend needing emergency assistance. If possible, save the message until the next day. Type it in a text message, but don't hit send. 

Try to limit your calls and texts to between 6am and 9pm. Adjust accordingly if you have friends or family who work nights or have otherwise unusual sleep schedules.

A Barista's Thorn

If you're next in line at a checkout, end your call before paying for your items. Talking on the phone and not paying attention to the cashier or attendant asking you questions can be rude. Whenever you're face-to-face with someone, they should always have priority over your phone, unless it's an emergency.

To learn more about how a gentleman should act, read our article How Does A Gentleman Act In The Modern World?

Important Calls During Events 

Some phone calls cannot be avoided. If you have scheduled a call that conflicts with an important event like a meeting or a lunch with a potential client, there are two things you can do:

– Reschedule the call—the more notice, the better.

– Let the people you're with know that you may have to step away for a few moments.

Life can get in the way of life and sometimes it's inevitable. By letting other people know about disruptions, they won't be as annoyed when you receive that call. It's better to err on the side of caution than to expect that people won't care. No matter the situation, make sure to excuse yourself and walk to a quiet place as to not be disturbed. 

Being Alone At The Table Does Not Mean Phone Time 

If you are on a date or with a friend and they excuse themselves from the table, resist the urge to pull out your phone. This can be next to impossible, but believe me; there's more entertainment around you at that moment than there is on your phone. Take a minute to notice the décor, the atmosphere, the music, the smells. All these things subconsciously add to your overall experience.

When that person comes back, they may take you having your phone out as an invitation to take theirs out. This could potentially derail the evening. After all, if you're not paying attention to them, they won't pay attention to you.

The Walls Have Ears 

Most phone conversations are pretty informal, but if you do need to exchange personal information like banking information or addresses, try to go to a place where you aren't surrounded by people.

If you speak with your normal tone of voice, most people will not be able to hear you when they're around 10 feet away. If you speak louder, increase the distance. You never know who may be listening. 

Explain Why You're Calling 

Sometimes you have to leave a voicemail. Some of us dread it and just want to get it over with. It's better to explain why you're calling instead of just hanging up or just saying "call me back!" When you explain why you're calling, it is much easier for the other person to gather any information you may require when they call you back.

If you are calling a business, start off by saying who you are, then the reason why you're calling. Be sure to leave your number at the end of the message so they know how to reach you. Say it slowly and clearly so they have a chance to write it down or dial it.

Avoid Novelty Ringtones

We've all heard at least one stupid ringtone in your lives. Maybe at the grocery store, airport, or maybe one of your friends loves Peter Griffin's voice so much they want to hear it ad nauseam. Whatever the case may be, it is immature and annoying to those around you. 

Consider leaving your phone on vibrate or having a simple ringtone. Practically every phone comes with several pre-installed ringtones to choose from. If none of those suit your fancy, there are apps that have thousands upon thousands of sounds.

If you want something quirky, think about the company you may keep. Don't get something offensive or noisy just for the sake of it. "The wife is calling!" may seem funny when you're with your friends, but around other people, it may come across as insensitive. 

Reminder: "You're On Speakerphone" 

If you put someone's call on speakerphone, let the caller know. Giving them a heads-up will prevent them from spilling important information like plans for a surprise birthday party for someone within earshot, or personal details that could be used for nefarious ends by the wrong people.

NEVER Text And Drive 

This should go without saying. Many people are involved in accidents where their phone is the culprit. A text or call can wait until you've parked. You risk your own and other people's lives when you aren't paying attention to the road. Don't be that person who has their phone resting on their steering wheel.

Summary:

Cell phones are still a rather new invention. There are no rules of etiquette set in stone just yet, but as the technology evolves, so will the etiquette. The rules listed below are general guidelines that will help gentlemen not only control their screen time but also use it wisely and in the correct situations. Phones are amazing tools to have, as long as we use them respectfully.

Now that you've learnt about phone etiquette, take a moment to learn 15 Simple And Easy Rules Of Texting Etiquette

Did you enjoy this article? Learn something new? Share it with a friend and follow Esteemed Gentleman on social media to stay up to date with new articles and posts!

Links:

Facebook

Instagram

Don't forget to sign up below to stay up to date on new articles and reviews we publish!