Restaurant Etiquette, Pt. II: Entering And Seating

Now that you have entered the restaurant, there are certain rules of etiquette that every gentleman should follow. Some are more obvious than others. In this article we discuss a handful of them and how to utilize them effectively so you and your company can have a worry-free dining experience.

If you have not read part I of our restaurant etiquette guide, Restaurant Etiquette, Pt. I: Before, it contains information on RSVPs, checking reviews, and proper planning to ensure everything goes well before even setting foot inside the establishment.

Remove Your Hat And Sunglasses As Soon As You Enter

When entering the restaurant, it is in good taste to remove your hat. Although you may be rooting for your favourite sports team or have a bold statement upon your hat you want others to see, it is a good idea to remove it to avoid unwanted attention or glares from across the room from disapproving patrons. Your server could also see it as offensive and give you substandard service. In a sports bar, wearing a hat is completely justified since that is an accepted part of the dress code.

Sunglasses are best removed unless they are prescription transition lenses or medical UV blockers. The company you sit with would like to look you in the eye while you speak, and hiding your eyes behind sunglasses can come across as rude. Hats and sunglasses can be put back on if you are sitting on a patio and require protection from the sun. 

Coat Check

If the restaurant offers a coat check, leave your coats there. You will be given a tag with a number that you can use to later retrieve your jacket. Do not bring your coat to the table. If a coat check is not available, most restaurants have a coat rack or hangers near your table. If they do not, then hang your coat over the back of your chair or fold it up neatly and place it beside you or on an empty chair at your table.  

Speaking To The Host/Hostess 

When you reach the host/hostess desk, introduce yourself and inform them of your reservation. Sometimes they may ask for a last name or a phone number. If, for some reason, the reservation has been lost, do not make a scene. If you remember the date and time you called and the name of the employee you spoke to while making the reservation, tell the host. You can ask to speak to a manager if you wish, but remember to be calm and cool. The manager has the power to kick you out if you are ill-mannered. Most restaurants pride themselves on customer service, so they will do everything in their power to seat you as soon as possible and may offer a discount on your meal or a free dish.

When the host walks you to your table, let them lead. In a formal business setting, it is customary for the person with the highest rank to walk behind the host, followed by their spouse, then the second-ranked person and their spouse, and so on. On a regular date or with friends, following this rule is unnecessary. Typically, whoever made the reservation or planned the dinner follows behind the host.

Bathrooms And Nearest Exits

While on your way to your table, note the locations of the bathrooms and nearest exit. Waiting to ask the waitstaff to tell you may take longer than you want, especially if nature is calling and won't wait. You may find them if you wander around the restaurant, but your food may get cold and others at your table may feel the need to wait for your return before starting their meals. If you cannot find the bathrooms, simply ask the host as you are being seated.

Knowing where the exits are could save lives should an emergency occur while you are dining. Should a fire or fight break out and you feel like your life and/or the lives of the people you are with are in jeopardy, knowing where the nearest exit is could save your lives. In moments of fear, we hesitate so knowing your escape route before any emergencies is valuable information.

What To Do With The Menu 

The menu may already be at the place setting when you arrive, or it may be handed to you by the host/hostess. If they hands you a menu or place it in front of you, give them eye contact and say 'thank you'. Giving the host/hostess positive recognition early in your dining experience may lead to better service.

Remember not to cover your face with the menu. Keep it on the table or hold it up slightly. When you have decided on your order, fold up the menu. If it cannot be folded, simply place your hands on top of it. That signals to the waitstaff that you are ready to order. 

If you cannot pronounce an item on the menu, instead of butchering the name, simply point to it when its your turn to order. Ask the waitstaff to pronounce it for you if you'd like to know how to properly pronounce it. Grunting or tapping the menu when the waitstaff to get their attention if they walk by is not the proper way to get their attention. If the group is ready to order, simply make eye contact with them as they walk by and politely say you are ready to order.

What To Do With Your Personal Items? 

Depending on if you're sitting at a table, booth, or with a large group of people, fumbling with your personal items like your cell phone, keys, wallet, and other valuables could be a challenge. 

If you wore your coat into the restaurant and brought it to your table, you could leave everything in your coat pockets. If you left your coat at coat check, take your valuables with you to the table. You never know if the person running the coat check has sticky fingers or risk something falling out of your coat pockets without notice or becoming damaged.

If you did not wear a coat you can keep your valuables in your pockets or beside you if you are comfortable with them being out in the open. Either way, be sure to turn your cellphone to silent or at least vibrate if you are expecting an important call or text. 

Read our article Important Cell Phone Rules For The Modern Gentleman for more tips on cell phone use in public places.

Allergies, Dietary Restrictions, Or Preferences?

If you suffer from allergies, have any dietary restrictions, or preferences it's smart to let the waitstaff know before placing your order. Giving them a heads-up allows them time to confirm if the dish you want to eat contains any of the items that may give you adverse effects, cause you to break out in hives or worse.

What If They're Out Of What You Want To Order? 

Sometimes a restaurant will run out of certain ingredients and foodstuffs. If that happens to you, there's no need to panic. Sometimes the waitstaff will inform the table beforehand, giving the patrons time to decide on other items, but if they don't, try to have a back-up meal planned. Sometimes that's easier said than done if you're going to the restaurant for a specific dish. However, that could mean trying something different and exploring new flavours.

If the waitstaff returns to your table after you placed your order and informs you they are unable to make your dish, ask if there are any available substitutions or what other dish they could recommend that would be similar. While most restaurants have chefs that have painstakingly curated dishes for optimal flavour and enjoyment, most have no issues with substituting things like proteins or spices.

If you do have to change or modify your meal, don't blame the restaurant. It's most likely outside of their control if their supplier is having issues receiving/delivering items in or if they had an unexpected rush of people ordering that same dish earlier in the day. 

Summary:

The time it takes to walk into a restaurant and be seated can be very quick. Having these tips at your disposal will ensure that not only your dining experience is a positive one, but also the company you are with. Being a gentleman in public places takes a bit of effort, but pays off when others are comfortable in your presence.

Be sure to read Restaurant Etiquette Pt. I if you are planning on making reservations, trying a new restaurant, or celebrating a special event.

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